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 I, I'm an old man. Been at this business for forty years now. In that time I have watched people waste away, die within their minds, or die within their souls. I can't tell you what that's like; I can't express the grief, anger, and feeling of futility. I took on this profession to help people, help cure their befuddled minds, to give a sense of direction a shred of knowing who they were and that this was their life and they had better start living it. In forty years I had never done that, I only watched the young and the old fade away into an empty space within their vast, similar minds. But that was all to change. There was a mind, one that came to me and sought me out past all the other doctors, a mind that was in need of help in need of remembering. I could help, for once in my worthless years as a doctor I could help. And after all my years of failure I wanted to help, this one, help her remember. Help her back to her life, back to the here and now. This mind, the one I called Regency. I called her that because I found it more suitable than "Jane Doe," or, the "Little Bitch," as some of the staff called her. The name, I don't recall how I came onto it, but it seemed to fit. Regency, I can say that name with great fondness. I was the only one she took to, the only one she trusted. I could never figure out why, but it was that bond, that father-daughter like bond that kept me from contacting the police to further investigate her. Sure, I should have but… I met this woman under strange circumstances, then drew to her and I helped her. Finally, after all these years I help a lost mind find its way home. You see she just showed up one day. "Poof," she was there sitting in the Great Room looking out the window like the lost often do. It was the strangest thing. No one knew where she came from or what she was doing there. However, there was one thing that was unmistakable, the emptiness in her eyes, the distance her eyes traveled from her mind; she was lost and looking to find her way. I had seen too many young women fall by the side, get lost in the cobwebs of memories and abuse. She wasn't going to be one of them, which I promised to myself the first time she looked up at me. I was going help this woman; I was going to help Regency. I had never helped anyone before, but her I would. Somehow I knew that was true. It would be impossible for you to know, for you to understand what it's like, not being a doctor of consciousness as am I. But I don't expect you to understand, only know that I wanted to help. I had to help; she was my one last chance at helping someone find themselves. How was I to know? How could I known, that the one mind I would reach would be that of a homicidal maniac? "Regency?" Doctor Tremmle smiled broadly, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder before he sat across from her. Regency looked over at the old man. He sparked a fond memory, perhaps the only fond memory she carried. A memory she couldn't picture, but knew it was there. She traced the lines across his face; like cracks in sun dried mud they went of in varying directions. His forehead crinkled into numerous rolls, his funny chin widened above his sagging double chin. He was old, very, the years wore themselves hard on him, but his heart was what mattered. She felt comfort in him, somewhere. She smiled. Doctor Tremmle stared at her for a moment. Stared at the young woman, who through a short time had all but opened her inner soul to him. He reveled in the feeling, a feeling he had never felt before in his long career, a feeling of satisfaction. "Would you like to talk today, maybe discover a little more about who you are?" Regency nodded her head, "Yes, Doctor, I would." She said softly. Doctor Tremmle straightened up a bit, lowered a brow and said, "Tim. I think it is about time you called me by my given name." "Tim." "All right then." Regency shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Please Regency. You can talk to me, tell me anything. Please, what are you thinking?" "Tim, I remember a dream from last night." "Go on." "It's a bad dream," Regency looked down at her hands; she picked uncomfortably at her nails. Bringing a hand to her mouth she nibbled down on a fingernail, "A horrible dream," she continued. Doctor Tremmle leaned forward, resting his forearms on his desk he grinned reassuringly. "We all have bad dreams. God only knows the visions creep into our subconscious. They are important however." "You would like to hear it then?" "Certainly." Regency adjusted herself in her chair, taking a deep breath she began. "I was at a store, a liquor store I believe. I was leaving, carrying a bag of booze or whatever. These two guys jump out from behind my car. I froze for a moment, before one of them spoke to me." Regency paused, lit a cigarette and turned to Doctor Tremmle. "Yes?" "Do you know what that bastard said to me?" Doctor Tremmle shook his head. "He said if I didn't blow him he'd kill me." Regency stood from her chair, "That son-of-a-bitch didn't want my booze, my money, or even my car. That bastard wanted me and so did his friend. The two of them wanted to…" She swung around quickly; Doctor Tremmle recoiled in his chair. He had never seen this side of her. She was becoming loud, forceful, with such disdain in her voice. "Regency," Doctor Tremmle stood, "please calm down it was just a dream." Regency pointing a finger back at him, an accusing finger, "Men, you're all the same." She continued; "Do you know what I did?" "No…" Doctor Tremmle responded quietly. "I didn't give it up. In my dream, like magic there was a gun in my hand. It was heavy at first but soon became comfortable in my grip. It was so surreal, watching the face of one of them explode as I pulled the trigger." Regency smiled broadly, "I shot him right in the God damn face." "It was a sight I tell you. His face vanished behind a mask of gore. His partner just stood there, his jaw reaching for the asphalt beneath him." Regency took a long drag from her cigarette; sitting back down she left Doctor Tremmle standing in her wake. "I made the other guy get into the car, the gun. What power it possessed. "In the dream I'm home, someplace quickly. The guy is chained to some old piping. I see myself from a far, like I'm watching myself in a movie. There's blood, his blood all over me; specs of flesh and bone riddle my skin. What I must have done to him…" Regency took another drag from her cigarette then extinguished it. "You don't need to continue," Doctor Tremmle said as he sat back down behind his desk. "Sounds like a horrible dream." "Dream?" Regency stood, "That crack I made about all men being the same." Regency shook her head, "I didn't mean you, you're different." She smiled then turned to exit the office, "I think I'm remembering Tim, I think it's starting to come back to me." She said as the door closed behind her. That was the first encounter I had with her of that nature. The first time the evil came through. She was never the same after that, but she still trusted me, still look to me to help her through the haze of her mind. I was for the first time helping a lost soul find her way back to reality, back to the now. Sure, as time went on I probably should have called the police. The stories, 'dreams' continued, and she continued to convey them to me. But the evil got to be so much and my concern for what would be said, I am a professional after all, I have a reputation to uphold-what little of it there was. But the real reason was, I just couldn't betray her, I couldn't betray the only patient I had ever reached. I guess I was enchanted by her. Enveloped in her evil and the things she told me. I have never heard such things as those that came from her. She was quite beautiful, and beyond that beauty was an engaging young woman. I suppose I was drawn to her beauty, her charm and the idea that of all the people in that place she could have confided in, it was me, me she wanted to talk to, me she wanted to be with. I was drawn to the fact that I was helping her, finally helping someone. You can't blame me for that. "Tim, I feel so comfortable with you. I can't talk to anyone but you. I can tell you anything without worry." Regency smiled. Her face beamed brightly, as she looked down at him, her azure eyes smoothed over into a look of longing. "Yeah, and you my dear Regency make me smile. And that is something I haven't done in ages." Doctor Tremmle leaned back on a tree. They had moved their visits from his office to the courtyard. "It's so much more comfortable," Regency would say. And keeping Regency happy was Doctor Tremmle's primary goal. Over the few weeks since Regency's arrival the two had grown together, near inseparable. In fact many of the staff had begun rumors that the two were having an affair, a rumor that had made it's way to the wrong pair of ears. In fact Doctor Tremmle would have to turn Regency to another doctor or sign her papers to have her released or find himself on suspension. It was something he couldn't bring himself to do. "Tell me Regency, what are you thinking?" Doctor Tremmle sat upright, pulling the long tresses from her face. "About the time I killed a man for a remark he made." "A remark?" "He called me a whore because I was standing outside the bus stop in Seattle. Offered me forty-bucks to 'pleasure' him." "No," Doctor Tremmle remarked callously. "Do you know what I did?" Regency said excitedly. Doctor Tremmle smiled, placing his hands behind his head he rested up against the tree. "I went along with him, made him think that I was going to 'pleasure' him. Just long enough to get someplace where I could be alone with him. Someplace I could teach him a lesson." Regency stood. Doctor Tremmle allowed his eyes to wander the length of her body, then trace her bare legs that stretch from the bottom of her gown. He had a thought, for a moment, a very improper thought. "I hate it when men assume a girl is there for their pleasure." It was a very fleeting thought. "Yes," Doctor Tremmle agreed. "Have you ever tasted human blood? Felt the flesh of a man in your mouth?" Doctor Tremmle swallowed hard, his eyes dropped from Regency's. He couldn't look at her at times like these. The hate, the evil shown well when she spoke about killing. He was like a scared child at moments like these, wanting to hide beneath his covers, yet, curious enough to want to listen. He hated the feeling, but it was a feeling brought on by Regency, a feeling from her couldn't be bad. "I have, and I did that day in Seattle. Giving him 'pleasure' as he put it. I tasted the salt of his blood, felt his flesh crawl within my mouth. There is no greater feeling then the feel of human flesh on ones tongue. The warmth, the consistency is nothing like any other animal I have ever had. "I laughed as I killed him. Driving my nails into his throat, watching the horror in his eyes. I watched his life drain from him. His body convulsed wildly, the saliva and blood that flowed from his foul mouth. How sweet it was…" Regency chuckled slowly, turning she sat down beside Doctor Tremmle. "You have such vivid dreams Regency." Doctor Tremmle stammered his eyes remained away from hers. They wandered uncomfortably across the courtyard, past the faces that loathed his behavior. Regency smiled, "Who said anything about a dream?" For the longest time she had talked, remembered the things she did. (Her life, she remembered.) Those flashes of the past that he wanted to draw from her so badly. They all came rushing out of her like blood from a severed artery, and he was helpless to control it. It was like that always. She would tell me a tale of murder. Each time she told me a tale it became more real. I can't go into to that much detail; in fact I refuse to. I could never repeat the things that she said to me. She must have been a tortured soul. Perhaps abused by her father, or an older brother. Wronged by men her entire life. The poor lost child; there was never no one there to help her, no one to protect her from the abuse. You know, she told me once that she recalled her real name, but liked Regency far too much for me to stop calling her that. She never did tell me her real name, and I never want to know. I will always know her as Regency. It is such a pretty name, to go with such a pretty girl. Yes, she killed and will undoubtedly kill again, but only because of those who wronged her in the past, men. She never did say why, never told me why she didn't feel the same way about me? And perhaps now I will never know. Guilt you might ask? I feel it every day, every night. Not that she kills or killed, rather that I wasn't able to ease that pain for her. I never regret the time I had with Regency, never regret knowing her. I do regret that we cannot be together any longer, since she has left but that was not of my choosing. It wasn't I who disapproved of our relationship. It wasn't I that insisted that I give her up as a doctor and as a friend. It all came undone because I had to tell her… because of… "Regency?" "Tim?" "You know that you are not just a patient, but someone I can honestly say I care for." "And you I." "There's been talk among the staff. Talk that my relationship with you is inappropriate. Some… some even suggest that we are having an affair, a sexual affair." "What!" "Who?" "It doesn't really matter. All that you need to know is that I have to either turn you over to another doctor or sign your release." "Who? Who says these things?" "Regency, which would you prefer?" "Tim, who?" "Doctor Astolt, he has complained to the board." "Astolt, he calls me a whore?" "Regency, it's not like that. It's not like that at all." "Then, what? If not a whore than what." "I… I can't say really." I should have never told her, but she was so persistent. And that was it, the last time I saw Regency, the Jane Doe that just showed up in the Great Room. That beautiful girl, who brought such light to my otherwise meaningless life, was gone. I came back to the hospital to find she had gone and also received word that Doctor Astolt has been brutally murdered. His blood drained from his body and chunks of his flesh had been… well, eaten away. It was horrible. Of course the staff blamed Regency. Calling her every nasty name they could conjure up in their depraved little minds. I never believed it, still don't frankly. She could dream, yes, but nothing more. She's not capable of such evil, real evil. Evil of the spoken word, dreams is one thing, this however… Why do I still protect her? Well, perhaps it is true; perhaps I do love her. It is nightfall. I believe I have told you all I have to tell you. If you wish more, you know where to find me. But if you will excuse an old man and allow him home, I would very much appreciate it. I am tired, very much so. Regency watched the still burning cherry spark as it skipped across the asphalt. The blanket of night cloaked her otherwise noticeable lines. Plumes of frosted air accompanied her as she blew out across the lonely night. She stood alone, for a moment. "Dear Regency," a withered hand reached out from the darkness. "Tim," she smiled, cupping the old man's hand in hers she reached across and pecked him on his cheek. "Come," she said as she turned down the dark road that ran from town. "You were right." "How is that?" "There is no greater feel then the feel of human flesh on the tongue." "A haunting laugh moved across the darkened horizon, as two shadows traveled as one into the unknowing darkness. |
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