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Art by Sandra Saunders

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 Herstory

  Sandra Saunders took a very early interest in art because she was surrounded by it. Her mother was an occasional artist who would pull her pastels or watercolors out on rainy weekends. Her paternal grandmother published poems and juvenile books that were richly illustrated, and was also the kind of grandmother who put Sandra in her lap and read her a beautifully illustrated childrens' book. The maternal grandmother had a home hung with good prints of famous paintings (including one of Cezanne's "Cardplayers") as well as wonderful oils by the locally famous artists.

  Sandra doesn't remember exactly when she started painting. She has some of the usual kindergarten and grade school art she brought home to her mother. She does remember designing and creating clothes for her paper doll, and then because one doll wasn't interesting enough, more dolls and more clothes.

  As she grew older, she found relief from an emotionally and physically abusive home life in writing poetry and painting. In school she found much needed self-esteem in performing plays and winning the usual local and national art awards.

  Leaving home at 17, she attended various colleges and worked at jobs in sales and restaurants until she married at the age of 24. Following a common pattern for abused children, she married a batterer. As often happens, her alcoholic mate never hit her before marriage, but once she was "HIS," he felt free to beat her as often as three times a week. Many times he came close to killing her in one manner or another, including pointing a gun at her head or strangling her. Emotionally shattered, lacking self-esteem or resources, Sandra endured 13 years of horrible violence before finding the strength to leave.

  One thing that sustained Sandra throughout her marriage was painting. Her husband didn't allow her many pleasures but he did allow her to paint. Occasionally he would destroy something she had painted, but he also liked to hang the paintings in his restaurant and sell them.... telling people HE had done them. This was easy for him to do since to please him Sandra signed them with her married last name and he kept her away from his business saying he wanted a stay-at-home wife. Besides, it was often not feasible for her to be in public with so many bruises. And as time went by, Sandra suffered from strange psychological symptoms. She would "panic" while in a fight with her husband. She didn't realize it was the onset of Agoraphobia and Post-Traumatic Stress.

  What happened to Sandra is similar to what happens to prisoners of war that have endured long years of physical and psychological torture. Scientists believe there is even a change in the brain chemistry of these individuals that causes them to have a a physical over-reaction to stress. Sandra has improved greatly in the 20 years since her divorce, but she still suffers to some extent from this disability.

  Sandra spends up to 15 hours a day in her small studio apartment painting. She believes there would be less meanness and violence in the world if people appreciated the arts more. "People need the arts to release negative feelings and find the softer/kinder side of themselves." She believes the lack of the arts in the schools and homes has contributed to the rise of violence in our society. Sandra, who has taught children, says a child who can express his fear or pain in a poem, a painting, or music, is less likely to turn to violence. But instead, family and society often ridicule creative kids that do these things.

Ms. Saunders may be reached by email: Saundersart@hotmail.com

See Art

Gallery Of Available Works

 

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